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Tell me How to Begin

a jolt of nasal spray

What do I want to write about? 

How do I begin?? 

Why won’t anything come into my mind???

 

Calm down.  Those are three thoughts that just popped into your mind.  Write them down on a piece of paper, or type them on your computer.

 

Which thoughts? 

 

The “What do I…” “How do I…” “Why won’t anything…” thoughts.  Write them down.  Get them out of your head.  Now your page doesn’t look so empty.  You probably had quite a few ideas of what to say that popped into your mind before you panicked and wrote those limiting words.

 

But they weren’t any good.

 

Who says?

 

Me.

 

How do you know what other people will like?  How do you know what you’ll like?  You just know what feelings you’re carrying right now.

 

But my writing’s never any good.

 

Look, either you write down one of the phrases or images that keeps popping in your head, or I’m going to pick one for you.

 

Fine!

 

Nasal Spray

 

What?

 

Nasal Spray.  Start with a jolt of nasal spray.

 

What do I want to write about?  How do I begin?  Why won’t anything come into my mind???  All I’ve got is a jolt of nasal spray.  It feels like fire and freedom all at once. 

I miss those days. 

The hours spent creating with carefree freedom. 

Whatever captured my imagination splatted instantly onto a page. 

Jolts of electricity and exhiliration surged through my sinuses.

I wrote with fury, 

Burned the fires of late night torches inventing worlds.

I mainlined drops of artistic Afrin day and night.

Crickets danced with elephants while I worked.

Nymphs stroked my forehead with peace while I slept.

I breathed easily.

If only those days would visit me again…

 

See, I new you had it in you.

 

But why does beginning to write have to be so hard?

 

Things worth doing usually are hard.

 

Yeah. 

 

Decide.

 

What?

 

Decide you’re going to begin.  Pick a topic.  Any one will do.  Then write until you can’t write any more about it.  It’ll give you confidence to do it the next time.

 

But what if it’s no…

 

It’s easier to be good than you think.  And if it’s no good, at least you got it out of your head.  Sometimes you have to get out the poop to get to the good stuff.  If you never try, you’ll never write anything good or bad.  If you want to just watch tv, I guess you can live that way.  A lot of people do.

 

Do you think I have potential?

 

Everyone’s got potential.  Fewer people have commitment.

 

Sounds scary.

 

Maybe, but it’s good.  Commitment turns vision into accomplishment, knowledge into experience, doubt into confidence, hubris into humility.

 

But is it hard?

 

Of course it’s hard.  Good things are rarely easy.  Some people have the hardest time just receiving a gift.

 

Oh my gosh, I know.  I can’t do anything for my mom without her having to do something back for me…  oh… thanks.

 

For what?

 

For the gift.

 

What gift?

 

How to begin.

 

Oh, that.  You’re welcome.  Enjoy it.  Keep deciding.  Keep committing.  You’re doing way better than you think.

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